tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post7515135035459560256..comments2023-10-20T08:03:50.579-05:00Comments on Blogging While Feminist: People will ask.Plain(s)feministhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15056404699624958898noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-85381670669814639432008-12-22T16:21:00.000-06:002008-12-22T16:21:00.000-06:00I am just going through this. The degree of politi...I am just going through this. The degree of political awareness among this crowd is close to zero. This contrasts with me who rates my awareness as being rather high. <BR/><BR/>Plains Feminist you keep fighting that fight. We have so much to learn about this but they wont learn it from me. They are immune from learning.<BR/>Renee Culverfoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13778846891832423815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-34121900643652881452008-12-12T11:01:00.000-06:002008-12-12T11:01:00.000-06:00I for one am very interested in the physical-socia...I for one am very interested in the physical-social construction of treatment and disease. I think our experiences with how folks deal with our physical presentation to the world during/after treatment or surgery exposes just how rigid our social rules are for the public presentation of illness. In this scheme, there are things that are "ok" like scarves, hats, wigs, small bandages, wheelchairs, paleness. But we're also given boundaries and crossing those boundaries makes the presentation of our illness and its treatment "not ok" like going commando or not conforming to the rules of disease performativity that have been established by society. The public discussion of one's bodily events/actions on the body during illness and treatment can fit into these categories as well. <BR/><BR/>But I think it's also more complicated, because the social response to illness and its treatment is legitimized by the social recognition of particular types of physical-social performativity. So when you *don't* present with a bodily performance of illness/treatment (e.g. women who don't lose their hair after chemo, or in my case I just looked too good after brain surgery) you risk different kinds of social sanctions that erase the very profound experience of your illness & its treatment. And same goes for talking about it--people only want us to fulfill the script of the socially accepted knowledge, not necessarily our very real personal experiences. So we're damned if we do and damned if we don't! And there's no real social narrative to guide the responses of the people who encounter us. I'll be interested to hear your thoughts on this. . .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-32348929707930855502008-12-11T00:25:00.000-06:002008-12-11T00:25:00.000-06:00No, I disagree with you. If you wear pants that s...No, I disagree with you. If you wear pants that say "Flirt" or "Sexy" across the ass, then yes, you are asking for comments. You could choose to wear pants that do not attract attention to your ass.<BR/><BR/>You did not CHOOSE for your hair to fall out. However you choose to deal with that having happened is NOT an open invitation for questions. <BR/><BR/>BTW, I have found staring at people like they are INSANE while shutting down an initial question with a one-word answer prevents further questions usually. When people have REALLY pushed, I have been known to call them out on it. "How are you? Wow, you're sure buying a lot today. Oh, don't you LOVE these?" I will respond with "I'd love it a lot more if I could just pay and get the hell out of here." When I say things like that people always shut up and go back into their role of doing whatever they should be doing.<BR/><BR/>Love,<BR/>Your bitchy blogging friendGreenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10931380770342598889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-45299382942563248732008-12-05T19:35:00.000-06:002008-12-05T19:35:00.000-06:00I'm glad to be seeing posts from you. As for aski...I'm glad to be seeing posts from you. As for asking people questions, I don't do it at ALL. I simply ignore the issue. If the person talks about it, they talk about it. There was a junior volunteer at my job with a major tic problem, but I noticed that if you were just really nice to him, he stopped. The subject never came up. My aunt, however, had polio when she was little and any time she saw someone around her age that had any kind of altercation with their walking, she asked them if they had polio during the outbreak. My mom got on her case once about this. I was there, and Mom was right, it was really uncomfortable.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-50185064678240962292008-12-04T10:01:00.000-06:002008-12-04T10:01:00.000-06:00Bobvis,This is an excellent question. The problem...Bobvis,<BR/>This is an excellent question. The problem is, I'm not sure there are clear answers - for example, if I *had* just decided to shave my head, it probably wouldn't occur to me that it might be a taboo question, so it's hard to know.<BR/><BR/>But I would say that certainly, questions about a person's body in general should be seen as personal. I think people should refrain from asking about injuries, disabilities, scars, tics, suspected pregnancy, weight gain/loss, ethnicity/race. If it's someone you know well, they might bring this up themselves if it's something they want to talk about with you, in which case gentle, respectful questions might be permissible (but limit yourself - you don't need to find out everything about the person in one conversation). If it's not someone you know well, all the more reason not to ask personal questions.<BR/><BR/>Maybe others can add to these guidelines?Plain(s)feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15056404699624958898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-24242028281785597932008-12-04T07:41:00.000-06:002008-12-04T07:41:00.000-06:00PF, sorry to hear about these experiences.For my o...PF, sorry to hear about these experiences.<BR/><BR/>For my own benefit, could you suggest some guidelines for what things are safe to ask a person about and what is not?<BR/><BR/>The reason I ask is that there are things that are in fact intended to be conversation pieces. (I don't know: a scarf, a necklace, something else...) Is anything that is not a body part in bounds? Or is it that you should only comment if it is to say something good about it, whether it is a body part or not?bobvishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11498316988120125641noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20435429.post-20126730894104197612008-12-03T21:40:00.000-06:002008-12-03T21:40:00.000-06:00*hug* That was something I had to learn when I wa...*hug* That was something I had to learn when I was younger, that sometimes people would just like to live as normally as possible and would not like to keep rehashing something that hurt(s) them. They'd just like to get a sandwich or ride the bus with a minimum of hassle. There are people who need to see this.CrackerLilohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18176388186521154104noreply@blogger.com