Fortunately for me, there was recently a request on WMST-L for a bibliography on being a bi or queer femme, specifically works that discussed:
-bi femmes' relationship with queer theory, activism and communities
-one's sense of 'not fitting in' either theoretically or politically
-femmes' relationship to feminism
-the process of coming out and coming to voice; establishing identity relationally
The responses are still coming in, but I will list the few that were posted here along with some others that I'm aware of.
Joan Nestle is, of course, the queen of femme theorizing, and she edited and contributed to the The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader.
Brazen Femme, edited by Anna Camilleri and Chloe Brushwood-Rose. This text reprinted Duggan and McHugh's, "The Fem(me)inist Manifesto."
The film, FtF: FEMALE TO FEMME, covers many of the above topics. More info and a trailer are available here.
The filmmaker of FtF has also compiled a bibliography of femme-related academic materials.
And may I take this opportunity to tip my hat and raise my glass to all the femmes out there, queer and straight, who contribute so very much to feminist struggle. You know, in both straight and queer feminist communities and theory, femmes get dissed because they look like "normal" women. And women who don't, whether because they choose to be subversive in that way or because they just naturally do not meet the feminine, heterosexual "ideal," figure that this means that femmes are not to be trusted.
(Does that sound familiar, bisexual readers?)
Criticizing femme women simply for being feminine is no different than criticizing a woman who is raped because of what she was wearing at the time. Before someone writes "How can you say that?! You don't understand radical feminist theory!" let me just say that I've read it, I get it, and I stand by my statement. Women who support the patriarchy are a problem for feminism and for other women - it's true. But that support CANNOT be judged by a woman's appearance. And if we all have to waste our time changing our clothes before we can get down to work...well...that's just sad.