Creepy-crawlies are better than Republicans.

I'm depressed. Between Sarah Palin, "overzealous" Twin Cities cops, the sudden cold snap, and the likelihood that I'm about to get my period, all I want to do is crawl under the covers with hot chocolate and a good book.

Of course, when there's a sudden cold snap like this one, other things want to crawl in and find warmer places to be, as well. Last night, just after midnight, just as I was falling asleep, I saw something in the corner of the room in the light of the t.v. It looked too small to be another centipede, and when I flipped on the light, it was revealed to be a large black spider, the kind that is equally body and legs and so looks strapping and formidable.

I wished Mr. P was here.

The cats were very excited, and stretched themselves out, standing on top of the television, in an unsuccessful attempt to reach it. I shooed them away, worried that their long claws might reach into the vents on the top of the set and get them shocked.

I sat on the edge of the bed, watching Sons of Anarchy with one eye and the spider with the other eye. Eventually, I figured, it would come a little further down the wall where I would be able to reach it with my bug zapper. I've never used the zapper, and while I have seen it used, I was still certain that, when I went to zap it, the spider would come flying out at me like something out of Arachnophobia. But after about a half hour, I realized that I was going to have to get over my fear and deal with it. The thing hadn't moved in all that time, and besides, if it crawled up to the ceiling where I couldn't reach it, I'd be up all night for fear it would fall on me. I dragged in a dining room chair, climbed up on it, pressed the buttons, and zapped it. I was so certain that it was going to suddenly attack me, even though it was pretty clearly dead, that I held the buttons down, watching the corpse spark, until I was worried I might mar the wall. I had so much adrenaline flowing through me that I was shaking, and it took me a while to calm down enough to get back into bed and go to sleep.

Even so, it feels better to write about the spider than to write about Sarah Palin and the RNC.