Another Fashion Post

I went shopping yesterday in search of clothes that would be appropriate for teaching, yet not matronly, stodgy, or dull. Flattering clothes. Style-conscious clothes. Clothes that would not reveal my butt crack nor my cleavage. Clothes that would not make me look like I was being slowly squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste (yes, I'm talking to you, tapered pants). Clothes that did not look as if they had been torn apart and then sewn back together. Clothes that hit the edge of goth without having a cute l'il skull and crossbones sewn on the front where everyone would see it and think, "cool, she bought that at Torrid." ('Cause *real* goths aren't mainstream.) Clothes that did not make me look older or younger than I am.

Here is what I found: one black faux-velvet vest at Old Navy and one ginormous pair of pants at Torrid. (By "ginormous," I mean that each leg is wide enough for my son to hide in, should I ever be wearing them and need for some reason to hide him.) Neither of which are appropriate for teaching.

Also available to me in our mall are cute little smock dresses and overalls with cartoon characters on them, or Madonna-type bustiers and lace-up pants.

I have a mental image of myself come next Thursday, standing in front of the class wearing a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. I am heading out to TJ Maxx and Chico's now and I'm loaded for bear.