I'm all about abortion. That's just how I roll.

I heard someone say today, "I'm not about abortion." Meaning, I guess, that abortion is way uncool. (I'm probably dating myself here, but that's how we say it in my family. "Son," I say to my four-year-old, "you may come out of your room if you're ready to be chill. Because hitting Mommy is way uncool." (I really do say this.))

So anyway, that's the meaning of the title of this post.

I don't know what I was doing in July that caused me to miss the news that Rep. Henry Waxman, AKA my pretend boyfriend (on account of he's so cool), released a new report: "False and Misleading Health Information Provided by Federally Funded Pregnancy Resource Centers."

I mean, it's not like we didn't know this already, but still - it's nice to have proof. And since I had a little trouble finding it, here's a link so you can print it out and read it yourself (it's only 18 pages).

And if you like that, you should also check out the 2004 Waxman Report on "The Content of Federally Funded Abstinence-Only Education Programs", which, again, doesn't tell us anything we don't already know, but sure makes for good reading. Especially if you have low blood pressure. For example:

The report finds that over 80% of the abstinence-only curricula, used by over two-thirds of SPRANS grantees in 2003, contain false, misleading, or distorted information about reproductive health. Specifically, the report finds:

· Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain False Information about the Effectiveness of Contraceptives. Many of the curricula misrepresent the effectiveness of condoms in preventing sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. One curriculum says that “the popular claim that ‘condoms help prevent the spread of STDs,’ is not supported by the data”; another states that “[i]n heterosexual sex, condoms fail to prevent HIV approximately 31% of the time”; and another teaches that a pregnancy occurs one out of every seven times that couples use condoms. These erroneous statements are presented as proven scientific facts.

· Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain False Information about the Risks of Abortion. One curriculum states that 5% to 10% of women who have legal abortions will become sterile; that “[p]remature birth, a major cause of mental retardation, is increased following the abortion of a first pregnancy”; and that “[t]ubal and cervical pregnancies are increased following abortions.” In fact, these risks do not rise after the procedure used in most abortions in the United States.

· Abstinence-Only Curricula Blur Religion and Science. Many of the curricula present as scientific fact the religious view that life begins at conception. For example, one lesson states: “Conception, also known as fertilization, occurs when one sperm unites with one egg in the upper third of the fallopian tube. This is when life begins.” Another curriculum calls a 43-day-old fetus a “thinking person.”

· Abstinence-Only Curricula Treat Stereotypes about Girls and Boys as Scientific Fact. One curriculum teaches that women need “financial support,” while men need “admiration.” Another instructs: “Women gauge their happiness and judge their success on their relationships. Men’s happiness and success hinge on their accomplishments.”

· Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain Scientific Errors. In numerous instances, the abstinence-only curricula teach erroneous scientific information. One curriculum incorrectly lists exposure to sweat and tears as risk factors for HIV transmission. Another curriculum states that “twenty-four chromosomes from the mother and twenty-four chromosomes from the father join to create this new individual”; the correct number is 23.

The report finds numerous examples of these errors. Serious and pervasive problems with the accuracy of abstinence-only curricula may help explain why these programs have not been shown to protect adolescents from sexually transmitted diseases and why youth who pledge abstinence are significantly less likely to make informed choices about precautions when they do have sex.

See what I mean? Rep. Waxman: You the man.