Friday, January 20, 2006

It's All About The Sex

You know how, no matter how much you might want them to be otherwise, some relationships are just about the sex? You might have feelings for the other person, you let yourself be deluded into thinking that maybe things are going somewhere, that maybe the other person really has feelings for you - but then, you are given a rude awakening of one sort or another and reminded that the relationship really has no future, even if it's fun while it lasts. Are you getting what that's like?

My job is like that.

I love my job. I couldn't ask for more engaged, interesting students. I get to teach classes I enjoy. I have wonderful colleagues and a chair who is always looking out for me. And when I'm not teaching or performing other professorial duties, I get to live my slacker lifestyle, writing in coffee shops, playing guitar with friends, hanging out with my family, agitating for revolution, etc.

But I have no job security, and I don't make enough money to make ends meet. You see, being an adjunct is a lot like having a relationship with the university that's all about the sex. The U is very attractive, and he knows how to make me feel good. He says all the right things - he tells me he needs me, that he doesn't know what he'd do without me, that I'm good for him. And just when I start to believe it, when I start to think, "hey - maybe I really do have something with this guy that's worth hanging onto" - he starts acting weird, getting all distant because I want to leave some stuff at his place.

I'm going to have to start going out on job interviews with other guys.

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