Fun with Children's Shows

We had a pajama party last night...well, ok, we were going to have a pajama party, but no one actually got into pjs and the kid watched his new Bob the Builder DVD over and over while eating the longest, pickiest supper on record. Meanwhile, I fell asleep on the couch and my partner sat in the corner with his laptop.

Still - good family fun.

And I got to thinking - that Bob the Builder show is seriously messed up. You've got this guy, Bob, right, and he's really just a general jack-of-all-trades handyman. The man has NO CREW. When it's time to build or fix something, he enlists the help of a few trucks and a scarecrow with a turnip head (who is, nevertheless, named Spud) and Wendy, or whatever her name is (who really bugs the crap out of me because she's almost always filing and doing paperwork instead of working with the trucks and yet you know she's there to show little kids that women can be builders, too).

In one episode, Bob is called in to work on the farm while Farmer Fred (or whoever) takes his pig to the fair. So - understand this - Bob is there to fix something, but mostly he's there to do the work that the farmer would do if he weren't at the fair with the pig. He's a substitute farmer, if you will. I always thought that farmers didn't make a lot of money - I can't imagine what it would cost to hire a construction team, such as it is, to staff a farm for the day. But there Bob is, expected to slop the pigs, feed the chickens, and do whatever else Farmer Fred has left for him to do (because farmers always go off with livestock untended to, right?).

Anyway, so Bob notes that he should do just fine because Wendy will be along to help fix whatever it is that needs fixing, after he's finished the farm chores, and Farmer Fred points out that Sparky - the DOG - will help, too. So now Bob has a DOG for a crew member.

You see what I mean? And the scarecrow spends most of the time complaining about being hungry. Bob really needs to get rid of the dead weight and start hiring some qualified employees, like Mr. Muscles from Jo Jo's Circus (who could at least do some heavy lifting - way more than that stupid Spud) or that crew of Einstein kids who could figure out some way to integrate classical music and art into the project, or maybe that sloth, Snook, from It's a Big, Big World, who at the very least would be able to score Bob some pot, and maybe then he and Wendy would chill the fuck out. They always seem so uptight.