On the road with Warrant.

So we got in at like 2am this morning from our trip back east. And on the last flight with us was Warrant.

I noticed a couple of these guys in the airport, ironically because they looked kind of hip. (This is ironic because, if you've checked out the link above, you'll notice that "hip" is about the last thing they look. They should consider giving up the stage look and just going with their regular look - except for '80s bad perm guy, who should consider another look entirely.) I have no idea who any of these guys are - I have only ever heard the name "Warrant" accompanied by snickers and derisive laughter, the sort of noises you make when you hear that Ratt is making a "come-back" tour.

I didn't realize this last night, but I've actually heard a Warrant song: "Cherry Pie." And the reason - which will be important in a minute - that I've heard this song is because we used to have a "club" in town that was famous for it's bad music. Every single time I ever went there, the "club" would play "Cherry Pie." Few people ever danced to the song - because it's not exactly a dance song, now, is it? - and yet, the bozos who ran the club insisted on playing it every single Friday and Saturday night. It was a regular in their line-up of un-danceable songs, right up there with Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me." Which, to be fair, is a fine song it its own right, but it is not a dance song. And that would be ok if it weren't a dance "club" with an empty dance floor, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, that "club" has since changed names and - rumor has it - ownership. I wish I could say that this was because the clientele rose up against the management and demanded decent music, but unfortunately it was because - rumor, again - the clientele rose up against each other and there were several violent incidents. Closing and then reopening under a different name was apparently an attempt to change the whole ambience to something a little more classy, or something.

Or something, indeed. The "club" still likes its "Cherry Pie." Guess where Warrant is playing tonight?

What makes this all even funnier is that, when I saw their gear at baggage claim, I figured that the band was playing the Arena, or at least the Ramkota (which is an exhibit hall that regularly features respectable bands, from Rob Zombie to Modest Mouse). But no. They are an '80s hair band, and they are playing at the Lava Lounge Bar and Grill. Oh, the agony of defeat.

And yes, I'm enjoying every minute of it, because 1) I have little tolerance for bad "music," and 2) how can I not make fun of Warrant?!